Let us just call this a note for writers. A strategy which can be used in personal relationships as in war, is to allow the aggressor in. To collapse backwards. In the Tao Te Ching it says: 'the army that retreats will have victory' and 'backwards is how the Way advances'. Also, 'by lying below the man, the woman dominates him' which is the same idea, but made benevolent.
It can work the other way of course. Faced with aggression you can either become like the aggressor, or be obliterated by them. In either case, you cease to exist in your old form.
Victory collapses into defeat, defeat collapses into victory.
I am now off on my holidays. See you in a week or so.