August 2nd, 2011
|08:22 am - Prospects|
I would like to have a holiday this summer but I am not sure whether I will get the opportunity. I am teaching part time, and writing a book, and I don't have much income. On the plus side I have now been asked to write four books, counting the one I am working on right now, which should keep me busy until 2013. How much I will earn from them I don't know. I am getting a trip to Barbados in September to plan two of those books - obviously I won't be lying on the beach, but last time I went I enjoyed it a lot, so that's good.
I am quite unsettled still. I think unemployment is a frightening chasm, and while I have avoided it, I don't feel I am freed from its gravitational suck. I know this is is histrionic, and there are lj-friends in much more stressful circumstances. However, that's how I am feeling right now. Kind of scared about unspecified Things.
|Date:||August 2nd, 2011 07:28 am (UTC)|| |
That's life as a freelancer. I've been doing it for 8 years now, and the best I can say is that you get used to it.
Still, I'm glad I'm in the UK with the NHS - it'd be hell in the US.
Yeah. I think I need to get my head in the right place. I did do this before, but that was when my kids were little, so everything was a compromise anyway. You are a technology writer?
|Date:||August 2nd, 2011 08:04 am (UTC)|| |
Travel the world, meet interesting people and things, and write about them!
|Date:||August 2nd, 2011 09:16 am (UTC)|| |
I know this is is histrionic... I don't think it is - knowing other people have it worse has never made my worries and problems seem any less real, and goodness knows, with a stable job, home ownership and no real money worries, I really do have it better than most.
We can't help how we feel...
Thanks sally. I come from a long line of worriers...
I've been signing on in between odd bits of freelancing - I think "gravitational suck" is dead right, I can feel myself being pulled towards a bad place in my head. Though the Job Centre tries to look like a bank or something, its a miserable, miserable place. It's my usual bloody-mindedness that makes me do it - I just refuse to be not counted. Though I shall pack it in after October when they stop paying me. I'm trying to redefine these spaces between in a way that works better for my self image - a bit like actors "resting", turning the time into a kind of maintenance period.
Do you think the livestock could ever become lucrative? I knew a woman who sold breeding stock of a rare sheep breed.
I don't think I have enough land to make it more than a hobby. There's just so much randomness in breeding, so I just end up with one or two "good" specimens in a year. Also with the breed I've got right now, the breed society are the most dysfunctional bunch of people I've ever met. And the more you breed for the good of "the breed", the more you have to deal with them. And life is just too short.
On the point below, I do find that I have to force myself - having set myself up with the expectation of producing a comic every month certainly helps, it becomes "work" and the creativity is a by-product. The Japanese Embassy in London run an annual manga competition - I've told people I'm going to enter this year, so that I've now got another thing I feelI've got to do just because I told other people.
PS. I agree that the quiet times ought to be fertile but I was shocked how unproductive I was. I was too frightened to be creative.
When the Howard government retrenched me as part of an outsourcing effort that eventually blew well over a billion dollars for no result, I felt the pull of the chasm. It all came out well in the end and in fact I was not unemployed for very long, but it changed my whole outlook.
Yes, I think it was six weeks for me, though my new job is not as well paid as my old one. But, as I think you might be saying, the ground beneath your feet is never as firm as it was before.
I don't think this is histrionic. It seems to me like a reasonable response to several stress stimuli (change in circumstances, less income), coupled with lots of uncertainty in the face of changes over which we do not have control and cannot necessarily predict, no matter all the mantras that get chanted at us about the joys of self-employment.
Yes. There's been a lot of fuss lately about people who are 'off sick' from work, and I think there's an expectation that people will be like robots, never reacting emotionally to the circumstances of their lives, and never displaying any physical weakness. But people who exist in reality are bodies and emotions, and can't always react with complete mechanical efficiency.