Co-Worker: I don't eat at KFC anymore, the chickens they use don't grow heads.
Me: They don't grow heads?? What? That isn't possible.
Co-Worker: Yes it is. They grow the chickens without heads so they don't have to feed them.
It's possible he was thinking of tofu.
Here's another, which makes you concerned about the poor fellow's survival prospects.
me: you know you can't eat anything here, right?
friend: why not?
me: they cook everything using peanut oil.
me: ... you're allergic to peanuts.
friend: ... again, so?
me: peanut oil... youre allergic to peanuts... any connections being made here?
friend: dumbass, peanut oil isn't *made* with peanuts.
me: yeah. yeah it is. -slap-
friend: ow. that hurt.
me: it'd hurt more when you go into fucking convulsions from the peanut oil
friend: peanut oil isnt made with peanuts! like doughnuts aren't made with dough, it's the same thing!
This must be the worst.
Friend - What's that funny little hat on your head?
Jack - It's a Yarmulka. I'm Jewish
Friend - (Eyes get wide) I thought they were Extinct!
Jack - no.....
Friend - I didn't pay much attention in History