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March 27th, 2011

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09:14 am - Siblings
I am so glad the demo was sensibly policed, and passed without incident (until the end when the ordinary types had gone home). My sister was safe and texted me several times to let me know all was well. One of my lj friends who has never met her recognised her from my description, my nephew, and facial similarity to me. Which is strange, isn't it, because within a family you notice your difference from your siblings, but to others the similarities are more noticeable.

This was also a big discovery for me after I left home at 18. While I was growing up it was all about the differences between the siblings - me argumentative and inquisitive, my brother mathematical and reserved, my sister empathic and gentle, my other brother funny and aggressive. Then after you have left home you realise that these are people with whom you have a massive shared set of values and experiences which outweigh the differences between you. And after years of going outwards, you turn back towards them, and appreciate them more. That's how it has been for me anyway.

I read the other day that having four children or more was associated with stress (no!) and unhappiness. I do believe my parents had a very difficult time raising us all with very little money, and if they were often difficult to be with, in retrospect I can understand why. But for me, having three siblings is great. I just wouldn't inflict that level of fecundity on myself.

(8 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2011 09:11 am (UTC)
I really value my three siblings (and yep I get told how much my Sis and I resemble one another, even though I think I look more like my eldest brother!) For all the chaos when we were younger, we give eachother a lot of support in adulthood. It's been more obvious for me, being the youngest -- now we're all grown-ups together, as it were.

And I'm afraid you *do* look like your Sis to the outsider ;) While I knew the rough description of your nephew's party, I wouldn't have been brave enough to say hello if I hadn't looked at the area around your Sis's eyes and nose and thought 'That *has* to be Communicator's sister.'

Hope they had a good march. I managed to meet with some Bristolians while taping my placard together in the what-its-already-gone without us? bit of the disabled bloc. Ironically, it was because they recognised the face of my non-Bristolian friend, whose user icon I'd added to my placard. Small world.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2011 10:20 am (UTC)
Yes, they got home tired and safe. It was all much better than I had feared.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2011 11:14 am (UTC)
I am glad to know that your sister and family are all ok.

I caught a bit of the news last night that showed the violent end of the protest, but I'd already seen reports that said that this was only a tiny minority of the protest as a whole, and it had been peaceable for the vast majority of it.

[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2011 11:35 am (UTC)
She says 'We had a really charmed day... we found space to park very easily in St John's Wood. We had about 4 miles then to walk to the start of the March. ... there was a 'protected' space at the very front for disabled people... It was ever so peaceful and relaxed.'

So, very good, and I was as usual worrying about nothing.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2011 05:44 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that went well.

Yes, I have come the same path with my siblings. I appreciate them so much more than I did when we were children and I felt I was always either too little to join in, or wanting to do things they'd grown out of.
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2011 06:26 pm (UTC)
Age differences which are so significant when you are kids become meaningless
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2011 08:14 pm (UTC)
The age differences have become irrelevant; in a way, I perceive myself as senior to my sister, who is actually ten years older. But I don't think the dynamics have shifted all that much. I suspect my sister would tell you that we're close, because she's closer to me than she is to my brother. But I don't perceive it as a close relationship because, although my brother and I have probably drifted a little apart over the years, we still have an underlying bond that neither of us has with her. (This is not down to age, because he's two years older than she is. We just understand each other better.)
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2011 10:54 pm (UTC)
Interesting post (as ever).

I'm glad the demo went smoothly, all things considered.

The things you wrote about your siblings made me realise something. I fight like weasels in a sack with my brother and sister. And yet I feel sorry for my little niece because she's an only child! I should think more about this whole subject. :D

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