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April 23rd, 2009

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09:56 pm - Two things
I like this post, linked to by andrewducker. The premise is 'everything can be boiled down to two simple rules'. I think some of the examples are daft, but some are pretty good

1. Hit.
2. Don't get hit.

1. Don't forget your lines.
2. Don't run into the furniture.

1. Plato was wrong.
2. Wittgenstein was right.

Two Things about writing:
1. Honesty is all that matters.
2. Apply bum glue liberally.

That's pretty good. This one is bad

1. Write what you know.
2. Be as short and simple as possible.

well, not bad, just not as good as it might be.

(some I just thought of)

1. Say what you want to say.
2. Say it as well as you can.

1. Think something no-one ever thought before
2. Make other people think it too.

1. be honest about everything
2. offer unconditional respect

If any person could get those two things right, they could do any therapy. Probably the same 2 rules apply to being a parent.

(7 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:April 23rd, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
1. Score runs and don't lose wickets.
2. Take wickets and don't concede runs.

Is that cheating?
[User Picture]
Date:April 23rd, 2009 09:44 pm (UTC)
It's very elegant though
[User Picture]
Date:April 23rd, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
Lose Weight
1. Walk more
2. Eat fewer calories

Get Laid
1. Be confident
2. Be honest (erm, not 100% about this one!)

Balance Budget
1. spend less than your income
2. make people understand you can't afford everything

Get Rich
1. Invent better mousetrap
2. Market well to rich people beset by rodents

Live forever
1. don't die
2. look after your health

bore people
1. invent a meme about "two things"
2. er... that's it! :-)
[User Picture]
Date:April 23rd, 2009 10:05 pm (UTC)
Cynically, there are two rules to getting laid a lot, which are guaranteed to work for everyone, but nobody needs it that much

1. Lower your standards
2. And a bit more

PS - now I read it back it does look horribly cynical. I suppose what I mean is, we are all more sophisticated than we pretend to be.

Edited at 2009-04-23 10:07 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]
Date:April 23rd, 2009 10:12 pm (UTC)
It may be cynical, but it was what I started typing first (great minds!) ...

Or even
1. lower standards
2. offer inducements

1. lower standards
2. ask a lot more people likely to say yes!

though to be honest, I think just going with "ask a lot more people who are likely to say yes" is probably enough.

And it shows that most of us don't have getting laid as a priority, and those that do, are out getting laid a lot more frequently!
[User Picture]
Date:April 24th, 2009 05:39 pm (UTC)
I like Lose Weight. But if more people realised it a lot of other people would be a lot less well off. Perhaps that informs Get Rich?
Date:April 27th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
Hypocritical & corrupt boss

1. Believe(and never forget)your first impressions of a corrupt boss - if you're a reasonable person, you can be assured that you're in good company in sensing this. You are not alone, even if you're (inevitably) deserted at expostion phase. This is normal. People want to keep their jobs. Never believe, nor trust, those who are comfortable in their (i.e corrupt boss) servance.

2. Strive to expose this type of deluded, corrupt, self-satisfied, pompous and (usually hypocritical) person whenever possible. Never give up - liars and cheats MUST be exposed. Bide your time - they will get it in the end. Remember...brave & determined oppostion never gives up. Give it time - the subject will inevitably annoy more and more people....after all, they've got away with it before. The average bully, when faced with no opposition, will just get nastier. They will be stopped only by a concerted effort.

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