The Soul of Soccer
It's no surprise that the moral relativism sweeping across the globe has begotten outrageous behavior.... Watching a soccer fan effusively fling rocks and bottles at innocent players reminds me of cold-blooded abortionists and activist federal judges hurling stones at the preciousness of life. ... look closely next time you see footage of soccer fans gone wild. You'll be staring into the innermost depths of the world's soul.
How Soccer is Ruining America (this article is kind of tongue in cheek, but he means it):
Whether the dumbing down of America or soccer came first is hard to say, but soccer is clearly an important means by which American energy, drive, and competitiveness is being undermined to the point of no return... As a display of nearly death-defying stamina, soccer mimics the paradigmatic feminine experience of childbirth more than the masculine business of destroying your opponent with insurmountable power.
Soccer is a sport for socialists
Soccer is the Marxist concept of the labor theory of value applied to sports -- which may explain why socialist nations dominate in the World Cup... What makes peewee soccer particularly insidious is that boys and girls play together. At this level, the sport has become a giant social experiment imposed upon us by the same geniuses who have put women in combat. No one seems to care much that co-ed soccer is doing irreparable harm to the psyche of America's little boys.
A sensible conservative counter-blast to the soccer-blasts
If you spend enough time at it, you can find the flaws and virtues in every kind of competition, and you can invest this or that sport with some allegedly definitive national or cultural characteristics that embody vitality or decadence. If done as a kind of light-hearted ribbing, it can be quite fun, but when offered as some kind of deadly serious cultural criticism it is dreadful.
Anyway, apparently this is an established right wing American trope, but I only just heard of it. My guess is that the next one will be Marmite. The argument will be that it's biowarfare on toast.