Communicator (communicator) wrote,

Top ten conservative films of 2005

Human Events Online is a conservative news site ('Be the first to read Robert Novack and Ann Coulter each week!'). They have an entire section devoted to top ten lists (not unlike this blog). I thought you might be interested in their 'Top ten conservative movies of 2005'.

One thing it proves is that being conservative is not without price. They may have all the power and money, but they have to watch some bloody awful movies.

1 - Cinderella Man. Not an awful film. When I saw it I said the fight scenes were excellent, the rest of the movie was white-bread, and the overall message was mildly left-wing (pro New Deal). They obviously missed this latter point. However they are right to say that 'The boxing sequences are the most realistic ever put on film.'

2 - King Kong. A rather good film. I think one of my lj-friends defriended me because I like King Kong. I honestly don't think it's a right wing movie but this bunch obviously feel it's scoring one for their team. They say 'Its characters exemplify feminine virtue, masculine heroism and romantic love. The movie describes a hopeless romance.' Ummm, if they are talking about the human/ape thing 'romance' isn't the word I would use. ugh.

3 - The Island. Conservatives think this a pro-life film. For all I know it may be, I haven't watched the damn thing. They say 'To see “The Island” is to gaze into the abyss where science combines with the ethics of convenience to create horrors undreamed of in ages past.'

4. Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe Yeah, yeah, I still haven't seen it, and this kind of endorsement makes that even less likely. They say 'If you don’t love it, I can only assume you’re one of the secret police in the service of the White Witch.'

5. The Great Raid A POW film I've never heard of (doubt it was released in the UK). They say 'There’s no effort to whitewash the Japanese military, who are presented as pure sadists and cold-blooded killers.' No ethical nuances to trouble your viewing pleasure.

6. Batman Begins Hello? This is not a conservative movie. They say 'This is a superhero movie with a message worth contemplating.' Yes, lads, concentrate on that thought.

7. The Greatest Game Ever Played The sound of barrels being scraped. This is a film about golf, which is probably why I have never heard of it. They say 'It’s a Disney dare-to-dream movie more realistic, and inspiring, than most.' As bad as that eh?

8. Little Manhattan Where have they dug these up from?

9. Coach Carter OK, this one I have heard of. Samuel Jackson in dull right wing movie shock. They say 'It’s a pleasure to watch Jackson deliver his lines with manly self-assurance.' Right.

10. Memoirs Of A Geisha This movie sounds to me like a pile of shite. They say 'The film is not about prostitution ... a geisha isn’t a hooker in a kimono, but an “artist of the floating world” -- though there is a sexual element to this world' No kidding? A sexual element in the floating world. Who knew? But it gets worse 'The heroine, Sayuri, is sold as a child to a geisha house... a handsome businessman makes her yearn for a way to enter his world. It’s touching to see a child form an attachment that lasts a lifetime... focus on the story of a little girl who falls in love with a man, and endures much for the sake of that love.' Queasy yet?

So, there you have it. The conservative mind-set in ten easy lessons.
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