Communicator (communicator) wrote,

Flirting with(out) danger

You know, men ought to be up in arms about those rape survey results. Men ought to be up in arms about a culture that says they are programmed to rape, and can't help themselves. It's not just a theoretical insult (though it is an insult to every man who is able to behave like a civilised human being around women). Every woman who thinks that flirting with a man would make her responsible for being raped, is one more woman who won't trust you, won't be alone with you, won't flirt with you. Is that what you want? Of course not. Fight back about it.

Every man who says 'Once I become aroused I can't stop, I just have to do it' should be roundly contradicted by the men around him. They should say 'Shut up, you'll give the rest of us a bad name', they should say 'Well, make sure you warn women about your weird problems, because I don't want them to think we are all like you.' They should say 'Don't be such an arse'. They should say 'Keep away from my women friends then'.

Bloody hell. It's not rocket science. If men want pretty women to act sexy and relaxed around them, make them feel safe to do so. It's kind of win-win.

And the other thing is, when you meet a woman who is edgy, who won't let you chat her up, who acts nervous around you - don't blame her for being uptight or prudish. Blame the people, who through actions or words, have made her feel that is what she has to do to protect herself. The people who have told her that 'flirting' is dangerous. The men who made rude and aggressive passes at her (or worse). Blame the bloody Daily Mail.

ETA - Of course I'm not imputing indifference on these matters to the civilised men on my f-list, many of whom have indeeed made these points on their own journals. I did notice. It's more a scatter-shot of exasperation at the social attitudes of a minority of men (and women). And of course it is a minority. Gits.
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