Communicator (communicator) wrote,

Slaughterhouse 5: a tad ludicrous

Remember Time Magazine's best 100 novels since Ulysses? 'The Morning News' online magazine has dug out Amazon 'one star' reviews of these books. That is, reviews by people who thought the novels were crap.

Beloved, by Toni Morrison: 'I couldn’t get through the first two chapters without vomiting.'

The Catcher in the Rye: 'J.D. Salinger went into hiding because he was embarrassed.'

And guess which book this is a review of?

I bought these books to have something nice to read to my grandkids. I had to stop, however, because the books are nothing more than advertisements for “Turkish Delight,” a candy popular in the U.K. The whole point of buying books for my grandkids was to give them a break from advertising, and here (throughout) are ads for this “Turkish Delight”! How much money is this (the author) getting from the Cadbury’s chocolate company anyway? This man must be laughing to the bank.

The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. Incidentally it was Fry's chocolate company not Cadbury that mass produced Turkish Delight bars.

Lord of the Flies: 'I am obsessed with Survivor, so I thought it would be fun. WRONG!!! It is incredibly boring and disgusting.'

Lord of the Rings 'The book is not readable because of the overuse of adverbs' (hey! Someone after my own heart! Destroy all adverbs.)

And this review of Slaughterhouse Five is music to the ears of all SF fans (in that it confirms that Nobody Understands Us and we are superior beings who Get It)

'I thought that the very concept of a man who was kidnapped by aliens was truly unbelievable and a tad ludicrous. I did not find the idea of aliens kidnapping a human and putting them in a zoo very plausible. While some of the Tralfamadorians’ concept of death and living in a moment would be comforting for a war veteran, I found it relatively odd. I do not believe that an alien can kidnap someone and house them in a zoo for years at a time, while it is only a microsecond on earth. I also do not believe that a person has seven parents.'

I believe! I believe a person has seven parents, and that Tralfamadore exists! I am an SF fan and this is my confession.
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